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Post by bluelacedredhead on Jan 12, 2008 23:24:47 GMT -5
by Will Bowen?? The 21 Day Challenge to quit Gossiping and Complaining?? I'm half way through the book. It's soooo true. We don't realize how many times in the course of a day that we complain about our job, the price of fuel, a sore back or a stiff neck, or the neighbours barking mutt.... I'm building up to taking this challenge myself.  Ya, me...Bluelaced with a Capital "B" for, well you know... I'm wondering if this is going to be even tougher than quitting smoking or drinking??? Anybody else try this?? Or wanna give it a whirl?? Oh, and before you jump at the chance, figuring that it's easy to zip your lip for 21 days, Pastor Bowen says that it takes an average of 4 to 8 months to actually achieve this "21 day" course of action. If you don't have access to the book (Sorry.."My" copy belongs to the Library system), check out the website. Just be forewarned, it's a long time to load for we Dialup Users... www.acomplaintfreeworld.org |
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Post by cff on Jan 13, 2008 1:33:04 GMT -5
I haven't read the book but I did read another one several times with some closely related theology and I have to agree with the suggestion of not being a complainer (even if I do spout off from time to time)
My personal life has been much worse in the past and I'm very thankful for the position I'm currently in now when I look back.
I remember when my wife and I washed styrofoam plates and plastic spoons and forks because we could afford real dishes.
I remember fore years of debt so deep we could afford a night out a dinner or a movie in town.
I remember running out of gas on Thursday and having to walk part of the way to work a number of times.
I vividly remember thinking that my new wife would leave me before I could turn that mess around.
That was 22 years and two children ago. As hard as it seemed at the time I can never remember a time when we were closer or more dependent on each other. Life was good then too, I just couldn't see it at the time.
The really hard times have a way of giving a person a reference point to know when things are good enough to be happy with life.
Who am I to complain ?
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Post by flowerpower on Jan 14, 2008 7:00:18 GMT -5
I think holding things in just raises your blood pressure. I would prob complain about the book itself- too long, print too small, weird shaped etc lol   I just bite my tongue most of the time. Well I try. |
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Post by lavandulagirl on Jan 14, 2008 9:09:29 GMT -5
I'm with FP - here's my take...
1. I can say what I want about someone, provided I'd say it to their face. My friends will tell you, I am perfectly willing to say stuff to their faces! I don't spread unfounded rumor, although I do tell people that I'm pretty sure Zebraman is also the Zodiac Killer. I'd say that to his face, though, so it's all good.
2. I see nothing wrong with occasionally complaining, provided you follow these rules:
a) listen to others' complaints as much as you voice your own
b) don't repeat complaints over and over - get it off your chest and move on
c)don't complain about stuff that only you can change (for example, don't whine to me that you're fat every time I see you, while eating brownies!)
Do I follow these all the time? Hell no. Do I try? Usually.
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Post by grunt on Jan 17, 2008 6:17:51 GMT -5
Then there's the opposite train of thought. You know the one "Bitch a little. It won't change anything, but you'll feel better for it"
Just kidding, but I couldn't not say it.
Cheers
Dan
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Post by johno on Jan 17, 2008 19:48:15 GMT -5
I see those points, but I'd add that cleaning the need to complain from your mind will do you good.
How's it going, by the way?
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Post by bluelacedredhead on Jan 17, 2008 20:49:39 GMT -5
Let's just say that I haven't finished the book yet, and I don't think I'll be much good at this. As much as I'd like to be able to be a happy person, I don't think I'm going to hold my breath waiting to become one.
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Post by lavandulagirl on Jan 17, 2008 21:00:42 GMT -5
You know, I don't think just making the change to a complaint-free life would neccessarily be a recipe for happiness, though.
My philosophy is that there are big things that make us happy, and little things. The big things are constants, and the little ones change day to day. A big thing example would be my family. (Yeah they get on my nerves sometimes, but I sure as hell wouldn't want a day where they didn't exist!) A little thing example would be say, a good chocolate bar, or a gossip session with a friend. Sometimes I want one, sometimes I want another, and sometimes I want them at the same time, but I wouldn't die if they didn't exist. The thing is, if it isn't malicious, and it makes you feel good that day, I say complain away. Just take the next day off and have a piece of chocolate. (And don't forget to hug the kids.)
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Post by moonlilyhead on Jan 17, 2008 22:43:51 GMT -5
20/20 just had a special about what makes us happy. It's on their website right now. Perty interesting stuff. One book I've read that I like is Deepak Chopra's The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success. To me, it's more for the success of daily life, and it discusses being nonjudgmental and that ole thing about what comes around goes around. But really, the key to happiness is, as LG said, a good chocolate bar. YUM!
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Post by sandbar on Jan 19, 2008 22:51:47 GMT -5
"A Complaint Free World" ... I thought this was a book about heaven ... I have an interesting story for you ... A number of years ago, upon the advice of a very respected friend, my wife and I undertook the following challenge to raise our awareness of our negative attiudes: - Take a BIG jar and cut a hole in the top to allow you to easily drop money (coins and bills) into the jar.
- During each day, keep track of the negative comments you make during the day (complaining, criticisms, arguing, etc.). For each negative comment, drop a quarter into the jar.
- Do this for 30 days.
During the first week, we literally poured money into the jar. I recall coming home one day and putting $6 into the jar ... and that was just for the work day ... I still had 5 hours to go before bed time. We'd catch each other in a negative comment and say "That cost you a quarter!" More than once, I wanted to slam a $20 down on the table and yell at DW, "OK, let's go!" ;D It was an EYEOPENER.  We were both amazed at how negative we had become. By the end of the month, we were only dropping a few quarters in a day and had learned our lesson. We stopped after 60 days because we were both able to get through the day without having to drop change into the jar. Oh, and after 60 days, there was nearly $300 in the jar ...  So, anybody want to take the "Negative Thinking Challenge" and let us know how you do? |
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I just bite my tongue most of the time. Well I try. 
We were both amazed at how negative we had become.