For anyone in the Oregon City area, the Home Orchard Society is holding an orchard care seminar and several grafting and pruning workshops over the next few weeks.
The chances of finding out what's actually going on are so absurdly remote that the only thing to do is to say, "Hang the sense of it," and keep yourself busy. I'd much rather be happy than right any day. --Slartibartfast, Hitchhiker's Guide