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Post by blueadzuki on Jun 17, 2010 18:09:06 GMT -5
A few faves of, mine courtesty of the Callahan's crew (via Spider Robinson)
"Get it right, you're a star. Get it half right, you're a gas giant."
"Logic is a way of going wrong with confidence"
"Politically correct euphamisms are for the differently-brained."
and (reminiscent of the Socrates anecdote) it is said that Mrs. Noah Webster (or maybe Mrs. Ben Johnson) once caught here husband in flagrante with the housemaid. Supposedly she cired out "Why Noah, I'm suprised!" to which her husband replied "No, my dear I am suprised, you are astonished.)
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Post by bunkie on Jun 19, 2010 11:02:21 GMT -5
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Post by atash on Jun 19, 2010 21:24:55 GMT -5
>>6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
I'm reading a book written a while ago by Richard Bandler (co-inventor of NLP). One of the ways that he has experimented with treating psychosis is to "join" the patient in his delusions.
So he is treating a man--presumably a schizophrenic--who "hears a voice coming from electrical outlets". So, he has the man waiting in his lobby, and has a speaker rigged into the back of one of the electrical outlets...
Gets the man's attention...
...and orders him to shape up his life...and since he has to obey the voice...
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Post by grunt on Jun 20, 2010 1:00:15 GMT -5
atash: I love it!!
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Post by bunkie on Jun 20, 2010 9:03:12 GMT -5
good one atash! ;D
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Post by bunkie on Jun 20, 2010 14:18:42 GMT -5
I don't want to brag or make anybody
jealous or anything, but I can still fit
into the earrings I wore in high school. ;D
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Post by bunkie on Jul 4, 2010 12:47:38 GMT -5
Men's Age as Determined by a Trip to Home Depot ......
You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house- mowing the lawn, putting in a new fence, painting the living room, or whatever. You are hot and sweaty, covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit - shorts with the hole in the crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes.
Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to Home Depot to get something to help complete the job.
Depending on your age you might do the following:
In your 20's:
Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. And you went to school with the pretty girl running the register.
In your 30's:
Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.
In your 40's:
Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts.. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.
In your 50's:
Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dog doo-doo in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The Cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from Buddy's Bait & Beer Bar and it says,
'I Got Worms .'
In your 60's:
Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog doo-doo off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute, but you don't have your glasses on so you are not sure.
In your 70's:
Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Home Depot until the drug store has your prescriptions ready, too. Don't even notice the dog doo-doo on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.
In your 80's:
Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you needed to go to Home Depot. Go to Wal-Mart instead and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name. You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door.
In your 90's & beyond:
What's a home deep hoe? Something for my garden? Where am I? Who am I? Why am I reading this? Did I send it? Did you? Who farted?
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Post by grunt on Jul 29, 2010 17:34:23 GMT -5
It's been a rough week but I made it - how about you???
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Post by ottawagardener on Jul 29, 2010 20:50:38 GMT -5
Funny I had just seen that picture when I opened up HG!
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Post by ottawagardener on Jul 29, 2010 21:00:10 GMT -5
When I go to home depot, I am inclined to go in my work clothes which generally consist of the jogging pants that I wore throughout my entire last pregnancy so sag in parts and which nauseate my husband, along with a shirt that has several mysterious stains and likely a seam that has ripped but does not reveal anything to untoward.
My husband would prefer that I change beforehand but if he doesn't glance at me sidelong sometimes I don't feel obligued.
There may be various young to middle aged men that give me appreciating glances but I think they are either insane or are looking over my shoulder. I don't flirt with them because really I have 100 things to do after I finish this DIY project so I am in a hurry. Besides, haven't they seen my saggy jogging paints with the frayed cuffs and paint stains?? Oh, they are laughing not smiling.
I get my stuff, ask my questions, pay and prepare to leave when all too often someone offers to a) help me bring that to the car or b) help me load it into the cart or something. This might be because almost always there are several small children trailing behind me in similar states of poor dress or because I am of slight build and it is difficult for said person to imagine that someone I managed to get that thing into the cart so will probably be equally able to get it out.
I'll report back when I hit my 40s.
Telsing
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Post by canadamike on Jul 29, 2010 21:39:45 GMT -5
That is because you are hot, Telsing, nobody here in HG can know more than me about it ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D If I was your husband I would not like to see you in these clothes either. Your little silverish body hugging dress on the other hand........I almost got a heart attack. But that is just me.... The other men just salivate to the point of dehydration  |
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Post by mnjrutherford on Jul 29, 2010 21:58:22 GMT -5
RWL I CERTAINLY feel better than that poor chicken looks!!
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Post by darwinslair on Jul 30, 2010 23:18:43 GMT -5
That is because you are hot, Telsing, nobody here in HG can know more than me about it ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D If I was your husband I would not like to see you in these clothes either. Your little silverish body hugging dress on the other hand........I almost got a heart attack. But that is just me.... The other men just salivate to the point of dehydration Good to see you in form Michel <smile> tom |
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Post by ottawagardener on Aug 5, 2010 14:58:30 GMT -5
Michel, I just noticed this comment by you. People are going to be disappointed when they finally get to meet me in the flesh but heck, I don't mind having an internet rep for being hot. Bring it on: Yup, me with the nuclear bod.  ... on cold winter nights, I go out into my greenhouse to keep the frost out of the ground...  |
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Post by bunkie on Aug 29, 2010 10:52:25 GMT -5
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