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Post by MikeH on May 31, 2013 5:45:35 GMT -5
Before Your Healthy Eating Internet Education:
I eat pretty healthy. Check it out: whole grain crackers, veggie patties, prawns, broccoli. I am actually pretty into clean eating.
After Your Healthy Eating Internet Education:
Those crackers – gluten, baby. Gluten is toxic to your intestinal health, I read it on a forum. They should call those crackers Leaky Gut Crisps, that would be more accurate. That veggie burger in the freezer? GMO soy. Basically that’s a Monsanto patty. Did you know soybean oil is an insecticide? And those prawns are fish farmed in Vietnamese sewage pools. I didn’t know about the sewage fish farming when I bought them, though, really I didn’t!
The broccoli, though..that’s ok. I can eat that. Eating that doesn’t make me a terrible person, unless….oh, shit! That broccoli isn’t organic. That means it’s covered with endocrine disrupting pesticides that will make my son sprout breasts. As if adolescence isn’t awkward enough.
And who pre-cut this broccoli like that? I bet it was some poor Mexican person not making a living wage and being treated as a cog in an industrial broccoli cutting warehouse. So I’m basically supporting slavery if I eat this pre-cut broccoli. Oh my God, it’s in a plastic bag too. Which means I am personally responsible for the death of countless endangered seabirds right now.
I hate myself. [G]rains are fine but before you eat them you must prepare them in the traditional way: by long soaking in the light of a new moon with a mix of mineral water and the strained lacto-fermented tears of a virgin. |
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Post by Drahkk on May 31, 2013 11:00:56 GMT -5
MikeH, that SO reminds me of someone I know. I'd send them the link, but they'd probably take offense...
MB
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Post by steev on May 31, 2013 18:53:13 GMT -5
In my youth, in Berkeley, Cal, one night after dropping some acid, I went out to buy a cheeseburger. Walking away with it, I started thinking about the poor steer, so I took out the cheesy patty, dropped it in the gutter, and walked on, feeling virtuous.
Then I started thinking about the poor tomato, lettuce, and onion cells, still alive! So I dropped the rest of the burger into the gutter, and walked on, relieved, if not virtuous.
Then I realized I was hungry, had nothing to eat, and had spent my money.
That was the Alpha and Omega of my vegetarian phase. I prefer to eat what I raise, but I try to eat on a regular basis, whether I need to or not.
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Post by MikeH on May 31, 2013 19:13:36 GMT -5
Then I realized I was hungry, had nothing to eat, and had spent my money. Could have been worse. Being that the tomato, lettuce, and onion cells, were still alive, they could have risen up out of the gutter to confront you. Could have gotten nasty since you were outnumbered. Trippy ethical shit, man. |
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Post by steev on May 31, 2013 23:14:58 GMT -5
Whoa! Dude! Pursued up Hearst Avenue by pissed-off veggies? So glad I didn't think of that! There I was thinking they were just innocent victims; Anthropocentrism is a bummer, for sure, Dude!
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Post by blueadzuki on Jun 1, 2013 6:00:42 GMT -5
I actually wrote a fantasy story once about a world where someone used magic to make every person be haunted by the souls of every last lifeform they had ever killed or harmed, every animal, and plant they'd eaten, every piece of leather, cotton, linen or rubber they had ever worn and every synthetic (since most synthetics are made of oil) every piece of wood used to build a house for them, every virus and bacteria they're immune system ever fought off. I only stopped because I realized it had already been written more or less ( Rule Golden, by Damon Knight). And a little song link on the subject www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYpYHg9v1ow |
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Post by steev on Jun 3, 2013 0:38:32 GMT -5
Youtube, "Die, Sweet Roadrunner, Die". Funny as a rubber crutch.
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Post by Drahkk on Aug 25, 2014 17:13:37 GMT -5
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Post by steev on Aug 25, 2014 20:15:09 GMT -5
Can't imagine why a son so smart couldn't stay out of prison; someone to keep an eye on, when he gets out; he may have other good ideas.
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Post by bunkie on Sept 9, 2015 11:08:58 GMT -5
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Post by MikeH on Sept 9, 2015 18:12:51 GMT -5
Can't let that pass, bunkie, without upping the ante. LOL  |
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Post by bunkie on Sept 13, 2016 9:47:19 GMT -5
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